literature

Tiny Tot Misadventures

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Cautiously he opened one eyelid.  Ever so slowly he turned his head. Good! The evil, bumpy-faced warden had turned her back and was walking away. He looked up at his mobile time clock and waited until the red seahorse went around twice, then three times just to be sure. He couldn’t afford to fail in his mission before it had even really started.

            From the opening in the doorway he could see the Evil Warden put in strange, white things into her oversized ears. He didn’t know why she did this because soon she would begin to writhe in pain, failing her arms about and wailing loudly about hating some guy and then in turn loving some guy until she died. Just as he predicted her arms started pumping up and down and her head bobbed back and forth while her body shook. Perfect! She was distracted- it was time.

            The bars of his prison were all that held him in and he had finally figured out how to unlock them. Even the Beautiful One that smelled of sunshine and milk hadn’t discovered his secret, but she was clever and he knew that soon she would find out. None of that mattered as long as he succeeded in his mission. He chuckled evilly to himself-well it was more like a happy gurgle but it was the best he could do.

            Violently he shook the bars nearly falling many times, but it was alright. His portable toilet was empty and not squishy and stinky just yet and would help to pad any falls. Swoosh! With a satisfying, muffled crash the bars slide down. He smiled evilly to himself-well it would have appeared evil if he had had more than one tooth.

Carefully he climbed down, again thankful he hadn’t pulled the portable toilet off already. Cautiously he waddled to the door. It was there! His prize! In all of its savory glory it called to him. It was a flaming red beacon of promised delight that had tempted him- always out of reach and almost always guarded by a fearsome beast.  Even now the Fearsome Beast jealously guarded the red rawhide chew toy even as it slept.

The way to his prize was long and filled with danger but he gritted his teeth-well his one tooth and gums. Victory would be his! He scanned the mine-filled maze before him. In front of him, too many fingers and toes to count Tonka truck lengths away blocked by a yellow mountain, he could barely see the back of the Evil Warden’s head. She posed no threat-at the moment, but he had to be sure. To his tasty-thumb side there was the wall from which sleepy-time stories came from. To his not-so-tasty-thumb side were four skinny, leafless trees connected too high up by something he couldn’t see.

He stealthily made his way to the first tree- that is to say he didn’t fall- or rather only once. He looked around. Good! The Fearsome Beast was still napping and the Evil Warden was still wailing. Closer and closer he crept on all fours toward his prize. Oh yes, he could almost taste it. From here he could even smell it! The delicious, and almost barely remembered taste of stolen Kibble and Bits. At the thought a happy trail of drool gushed out as an evil gurgle came out. Oh no! One of the Fearsome Beast’s eyes opened beneath its bushy, gray brows. He stopped knowing that if he just stayed still he would turn invisible.

The Fearsome Beast’s massive brown eye remained open. He waited. A large dust bunny drifted by.

“Charlotte! I’m home! Did you remember-” At the sound of the Beautiful One’s voice he knew he had to make a decision. The beast was fully awake and aware now, lazily wagging its gray tail. One-he could stay still and remain invisible or two…he stood up. As fast as lightening he ran toward the Fearsome Beast-well it was more like a quick wobble as fast as his little legs would take him. He could hear her! The Beautiful One was fast on his trail!

“Christopher Avery! Don’t you even-” He wobbled faster. With tasty thumb and not-so-tasty thumb stretched out he dove toward his Precious Prize-well more like fell forward as his little legs lost balance. Fearsome Beast stood to all four. No doubt surprised by his surprise attack. Victory! Precious Prize was in his hands! Up close it smelt even better! He could almost taste it-feel its wonderfulness in his mouth. Ahh, but too quickly he had forgotten Fearsome Beast!

Before he could even savor the taste of his victory Fearsome Beast brandished his most vicious and vile, pink weapon. Licking him so quickly that he startled dropping his Precious Prize just as the Beautiful One swooped down picking him up high and far from his Precious Prize.

“Christopher Avery! How many times do I have to tell you to stop harassing poor old Betsy?” Oh the cruelty of it! To have gotten so close and yet be outdone by the wily Fearsome Beast!  It was too much! He hiccupped and hot water ran from his eyes and hot sticky water from his nose. Plus, his portable toilet had gotten stinky and squishy when the Fearsome Beast scared him with its fearsome weapon!

The Beautiful One smiled down at him wiping at his cheek.

“Hey sweetie, don’t cry. How about momma gives you Passy? Now where’d I see that pacifier last…?”

The hot water stopped. Perhaps everything wasn’t all bad. Because The Beautiful One was also The Most-Cleverest One she found Passy hidden somewhere in the Yellow Mountain. And it was good to have Passy back, but maybe not as good as Precious Prize would have been. In his adventure he had missed nappy time and the lights kept flickering on and off, with longer and longer periods off. He snuggled deeper into the Beautiful One’s soft mountains yawning. Fearsome Beast had won for now but later he would return! And with the most cleverest of plans he would…
For the "Pick Your Poison" Challenge. Children and misadventures seem to go hand in hand together. I had fun writing this. I love how sometimes you can almost see into the thoughts of toddlers when they are up to no good and know it! The cute little giggles and wobbly running they do trying to reach something Mom or Dad has told them to leave alone-aka the ham juuuuuuust within reach or the poor, ever suffering dog's chew toy. Anyway thanks for looking and Happy New Year!
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